Could Autism Masking Be Helping You—and Harming You at the Same Time?

Autism masking—also called camouflaging—refers to the conscious or subconscious hiding of autistic characteristics and suppressing or compensating for them in order to navigate the world built by and for neurotypical people.

Masking can include studying how other people behave and imitating them, restricting natural expressions, rehearsing conversations or facial expressions, such as forcing or softening eye contact, or hiding sensory distress. In other words, an autistic person may learn to appear less different, less unique, and appear close to the “norm” set by a predominantly non-autistic world (Hull et al., 2017; Zhuang et al., 2023).

But is masking always and necessarily bad? I don't think so. Masking has benefits. Otherwise, why would anyone do it?

All human beings learn to modify how they present themselves in different situations. We learn what is appropriate at a work environment as opposed to a private environment. We learn what is better kept private. We develop manners and to whom we entrust ourselves. Most everybody progresses by learning social skills and the ability to adapt to circumstances. For an autistic person, learning to compensate for a social or communication difficulty can similarly be an expression of intelligence, resilience, and development.

And there is something deeper at stake.

Human beings need other human beings. Even those of us who are introverted or need considerable time alone cannot live outside human connection. To assure our survival, we are naturally adverse to ostracism and typically yearn to be understood and to have a place in this world. The Interpersonal Theory of Suicide by Van Orden et al. states that feelings of thwarted belongingness and perceived burdensomeness can even lead to suicidal ideation (Pelton et al., 2020; Van Orden et al., 2010).

So, an autistic person may also reasonably decide to learn certain social behaviors because connectedness matters.

The problem begins when the benefits of masking come with a price that becomes too high.

Research on autistic camouflaging suggests its association with exhaustion, burnout, anxiety, depression, difficulties with identity and self-esteem, and feeling disconnected from one's authentic self. A large 2023 systematic review found that camouflaging can provide a sense of agency and social control while also being associated with being overlooked, under-supported, burned out, and confused about one's identity (Zhuang et al., 2023). Masking is a serious matter.

Devon Price delivers an overall critical argument of masking in his book Unmasking Autism, emphasizing the importance of recognizing autistic needs, values, and authentic ways of being rather than organizing one's entire life around appearing neurotypical. But even this author describes masking as a coping strategy that can help autistic people navigate a world organized around neurotypical expectations (Price, 2022, pp. 51–138).

The problem of masking is real. It is so complex, we need a nuanced understanding of it, if not for the mere reason that we cannot decide for all people and situations what coping strategies they need.

Masking does not equal masking.

Some masking is learning. Some is adaptation. Some is compensation. Some is simply becoming a more socially skilled human being. Learning when to speak, when to listen, how to join a group and enter a conversation, or how to recognize that or when others need something can expand one’s life.

The question is not masking or not masking, but how much, how often, and at what cost--

An autistic person should have the freedom—and ideally the conscious awareness—to decide which skills genuinely facilitate the life they want. There is nothing inherently wrong with learning to navigate the social world.

But when masking becomes a relentless denial of one's natural way of experiencing life, when it becomes “experiential avoidance”, or when it is driven by shame and self-rejection rather than by self-respect and a desire to grow—the cost can become too high.

Mindfulness offers another useful distinction: am I adapting because I care about myself and want to participate more fully in life—or because I have learned that who I am is unacceptable?

As much as we might wish for simplicity, there is no cookie-cutter approach that helps us live a good life. No book, no well-meaning activist, and no autistic representative can decide for you exactly how you should live your life. Some autistic people may want to unmask considerably. Others may want to retain many of the social adaptations they have learned. Most will probably find themselves somewhere in between.

The task is not simply “to mask or unmask” but to become aware of what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what price your adaptation has. There is no other way but to experiment. Keep what helps. Change what does not. Develop new skills. Give yourself permission to rest. Undo forms of masking that have become damaging. And, above all, learn to distinguish adaptation that expands your life from adaptation that makes you disappear from it.

The goal is not to become someone else. It is to become more fully yourself—with enough flexibility and freedom to participate in the life you actually want. And the Spectrum Launch Institute of Agoura Hills is there to help you do just that: become.

References

Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47, 2519–2534. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5

Pelton MK, Crawford H, Robertson AE, Rodgers J, Baron-Cohen S, Cassidy S. Understanding Suicide Risk in Autistic Adults: Comparing the Interpersonal Theory of Suicide in Autistic and Non-autistic Samples. J Autism Dev Disord. 2020 Oct;50(10):3620-3637. doi: 10.1007/s10803-020-04393-8. PMID: 32125567.

Price, D. (2022). Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity. Harmony.

Van Orden, K. A., Witte, T. K., Cukrowicz, K. C., Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Joiner, T. E., Jr. (2010). The interpersonal theory of suicide. Psychological Review, 117(2), 575–600. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018697

Zhuang, S., Tan, D. W., Reddrop, S., Dean, L., Maybery, M., & Magiati, I. (2023). Psychosocial factors associated with camouflaging in autistic people and its relationship with mental health and well-being: A mixed methods systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 105, 102335. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2023.102335